I get stuck

inside my own head.

You are always so much more interesting

than I am.

I get in a rut

inside my own life.

Life used to be so much more interesting

than this is.

I just lied.

Inside my own head

my life is just as interesting

as it was.

It’s safer.

The predators here

Are the ones I can control, at least

most of the time.

The Chorus is vicious.

It’s unrelenting.

It took years of practice to learn how to

turn down the volume.

Recently,

I learned laughter silences them. Also,

showing them proof they lie.

“You’re an idiot.”

“Nah, I’m not. Look …”

(I wrote it down.)

“You never did anything worthwhile.“

“Liar. Proof…”

(“I wave my list.”)

Sunlight

and music make the voices fade.

I struggle to give those gifts to myself

every day.

Stamina.

That’s what it takes.

They’re not giving up any time soon.

Nor am I.

I never was a quitter

(for long, anyway).

Niki Flow

Special thanks to m ennenbach for the encouragement to put these thoughts on paper, so to speak.

Thank you. ^^

♥

Images “Maps”

Maps “Conversations About Me,” “Ways I’m Happy to Be,” and “What I’m Proud Of,” created in May 2023 while reading The Kindness Method by Shahroo Izadi. And “(blue light) She’s so much more than a weed”
by me

Feature image “Blue Moon” by Tizz OToole from Pixabay